Thursday, 26 July 2012

The Tortoise Blog

So I've been putting a fair whack of time into this blog, becoming a bloggster - sounds better than blogger which always brings to my mind the need for Number twos - have I ruined that word for you now?

So now the articles are getting put up, like clothes on the line. My poems are raining down upon the blogging world, short stories are crying for bloggees to peruse and slowly the accumulation of me as a blog is taking shape - much like age really, the shape is bulging on a daily basis.

Oh, I remember those springtime blog moments when the pages were fresh and crisp and the whole concept was sparse, free to dream blogging dreams, free to imagine a different blogging universe where only good thoughts ruled, where my words were strong and fresh and I had a voice, oh bloggees, I had a voice crying out to be heard.

But time traps us all. Even blogs are mortal - to an extent. They certainly gain the weight of years.

But the point is this - yes there is a point - this is not just a blogging rant, or a raving blog. There is a torch being shone into the darkness of the bloggersphere.

How to attract Followers?

And how to elicit comments?

I have so few followers, must I then devote hours upon hours of following exchanges, like third world nations scrambling for the scraps left at the tables of the carbon consuming elite?
Must I enter the world (okay, so I have, in a dipping the toe in the water kind of way already) of  I'll follow you if you follow me  and play the game, play it as if we are all still in the playground searching for a friend to share the moments of loneliness with? Oh do not despair bloggees - I have an authorial capacity for self-pity. Those lunchtimes were rarely lonely, but genetically (creatively?) I can make the landscape as sparse as any desert - me standing there like the the lonely tree in Bahrain - Tree of Life, Bahrain

I get even less comments, the silence of the blogmos more deafening than any silenced lamb. 5 comments thus far and at least 2 are mine!

So what can be done?

I'm going for the patience is a blogging virtue tack.

I do not want to sift through endless blogging advice columns written by sad and lonely bloggster and bloggette spunsters and spinsters who dangle their carrots of blogging advice pilfered, lifted, read or thought up, just to lure the unwary blogging traveller to their overused, over-excused blog. No I would never stoop so low (or if I do I shall deny it strenuously - oh take me up to the mountain and I shall scream my innocence! Dunk me three times and I will float!)

There is no advice then, here. If you seek advice, go elsewhere (but stay a while, hit the follow button and add a comment or two before you go - bloggster begging is fine by me).

I shall write and add my thoughts and continue to fatten this blog until it falls into old age bloggsville
and along the way, perhaps, several followers shall follow, but not to some weird JamesBlogtown where we all lay down our thoughts and perspire into the ether.

I will maintain a vital blog, true to itself, gaining followers and comments slowly, like grass spreading upon those ancient savannas.

I am a tortoise Bloggster! So sleep all you blogging hares, sleep and dream your dreams of millions of followers; spread out across the bloggscape like rabbits in the fields and eat yourselves unto a famine for as your blogs lay gasping for words I shall type on and on and on... I am varily the Michelin blog.

I shall post and build oh so slowly and daily

or weekly

or monthly

I shall gain a follower or two

and elicit a comment...perhaps.

I am the tortoise and I am hare to stay - I know a pun - even a blogpun - is the lowest form of wit.

So come on bloggees, I'm the blogpiper, follow me!

No comments:

Post a Comment