I was born before Higgs
Born before that time when man looked up and questioned
If we had the right stuff, born
Before the giant step and the flag that did not flutter...
Yet it is my adolescent dreams I miss
Most of all -
How each day I was revealed in the pain;
The swirling - the forces that bind
And unravel playing out again and again
In kisses and drinks and mornings waking
Next to a breast or hip of someone unknown
Only hours before. I miss howling at the night
A bottle in one hand and the future, a raging trumpeter,
Stirring the forces to live on despite it all.
Now I feel the contentment, lap at the hours, a sated cat,
Am happy and enjoy watching my children grow,
Work the hours, write my novels, tread the paths,
Plant in the garden or snuggle up with a good book.
Yet everything I am remembers who I was
All my atoms and all the spaces between,
All the leaps of synapses and chemical releases
Remember those wonderful mad and out of control years
When I was a higgs boson
Flying towards the many collisions
Of my particle accelerator years.