It’s the
smile I miss, the simplicity of acceptance
without the
need for speech, his eyes
that cut to
the soul and still his smile came -
the way the
sun rises each day
or promised
rainbows for the pact that things will be better
than we may
let ourselves believe.
I miss his
faith in me,
his
interest and assistance
no matter
the project.
I miss the
conversations
that often
rolled into arguments, like shadows
and
sunshine across the paddocks he and Lee painted;
He gave as
good as he got, did Kev
and then
would put another thought on top
so that
when I think of him
it’s his
mind that follows the smile
the way he
knew so much about so many damn things
yet
remained humble so people, if they did not pay heed,
might miss
the insight his words gifted.
I miss the
shared coffee (milk on the side) and
wine,
the way he
finished our meals for us
and his
cheerful greeting
after I
would hear the bike roll up the driveway
with
Nelson’s tail thumping ‘Kev’s here” on the tiles -
it occurred
to me today I had not heard Nelson’s tail thump
in a year
and isn’t that the measure of all our pain,
our hearts
beat but where is the thump?
He is the
gap now
that I must
fill with my own thoughts,
the
provocateur my mind must supply to myself
to propel
me forward,
the smile
hidden in every cloud
calling for
rain and blue skies and all the in-betweens;
reminding
me that life is about the palette
and not the
preferred hue.
